Some bible-readers see this as the primary response of Christians in conflict:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. ’But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. (Matt. 5:38–42 ESV)

Is this the scriptural teaching on how to resolve conflicts among believers? No. It is a way for believers to show the love of the Father to unbelievers. (Nor does it declare the end of all human justice systems—see Romans 13.) To understand the above, we simply keep reading:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matt. 5:43–48 ESV)

Indeed, there are situations when the Father’s love caused believers to forgive others for terrible mistreatment:

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. (Luke 23:34 ESV)

He [Stephen] fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died. (Acts 7:60 NLT-SE)

There are also situations where the Father’s love caused believers to hold sinners accountable, as a witness to themselves and others:

But Paul replied, “They have publicly beaten us without a trial and put us in prison—and we are Roman citizens. So now they want us to leave secretly? Certainly not! Let them come themselves to release us!” When the police reported this, the city officials were alarmed to learn that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens. So they came to the jail and apologized to them. Then they brought them out and begged them to leave the city. (Acts 16:37–39 NLT-SE)

Saul, also known as Paul, was filled with the Holy Spirit, and he looked the sorcerer in the eye. Then he said, “You son of the devil, full of every sort of deceit and fraud, and enemy of all that is good! Will you never stop perverting the true ways of the Lord? Watch now, for the Lord has laid his hand of punishment upon you, and you will be struck blind. You will not see the sunlight for some time.” Instantly mist and darkness came over the man’s eyes, and he began groping around begging for someone to take his hand and lead him. When the governor saw what had happened, he became a believer, for he was astonished at the teaching about the Lord. (Acts 13:9–12 NLT-SE)

Our Responsibility to our Brethren

“You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. (Lev. 19:17–18 ESV)

[1] Brothers, [2] if anyone is caught [3] in any transgression, [4] you who are spiritual [5] should restore him [6] in a spirit of gentleness. [7] Keep watch on yourself, [8] lest you too be tempted. [9]Bear one another’s burdens, and [10] so fulfill the law of Christ. (Gal. 6:1–2 ESV)

The above passage seems simple enough, but every one of its 10 phrases are very important:

1. This was intended for “brothers”—fellow-believers.

2. It is for situations that have been “caught” or found out. Do not use it when you don’t know or “think someone might have done something wrong”.

3. A “transgression” is a breaking of a law—something a person should or at least could have known not to do. This is not to be used in situations where someone prefers a different choice.

4. This is for a believer led by the spirit with his brother’s best interests at heart. It is not for one who is angry, wants to “vent” or simply wants to get his way.

5. Restoration of the fellow-believer is the goal, not simply to prove yourself right and the other person wrong.

6. Accepting criticism is not easy. Correction should be as gentle as possible, erring on the side of under-accusation, not over-accusation.

7. It is not easy to correct in a godly manner. One must be constantly aware and in prayer to do all of these points.

8. Temptations can come in several ways. There is always a temptation to become argumentative or condemning. One must also be careful not to repeat the sin of the one being corrected. (One helping a substance-abuser must not abuse it themselves.)

9. Correcting another is a burden—it is not easy. One may not be received with thankfulness.

10. One is ultimately serving Christ in this, more than oneself, more than the other person.

Two Possible Procedures:

“If another believer sins against you, [1] go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, [2] take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses .If the person still refuses to listen, [3] take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, [4] treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.” (Matt. 18:15–17 NLT-SE)

When one of you has a dispute with another believer, how dare you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter instead of taking it to other believers! Don’t you realize that someday we believers will judge the world? And since you are going to judge the world, can’t you decide even these little things among yourselves? Don’t you realize that we will judge angels? So you should surely be able to resolve ordinary disputes in this life .If you have legal disputes about such matters, why go to outside judges who are not respected by the church? I am saying this to shame you. Isn’t there anyone in all the church who is wise enough to decide these issues? (1 Cor. 6:1–5 NLT-SE)

These procedures work. The biggest problem is brethren who refuse to use them. It is easy to want to “get one’s way”, not “obtain justice for everyone involved”. Yet, the latter is what our Father wants and what we will obtain in the end.

• Norman Edwards